Have a Heart

Have you ever just sat in a chair, one leg crossed over the other, having donned the best set of clothes from your wardrobe, a single steaming cup of coffee lying untouched before you, and stared out through the glass window at the rain as it falls so elegantly out of the sky? if you have, you would have noticed the trees swaying, left to right, then back, and again, no say in the matter. And you would have noticed the many crows perched on building terraces, so still its almost creepy, their feathers getting drenched, sticking to their frail bodies. Then maybe you would notice the man scampering across the street, hands folded over his head, helplessly yelling at vehicles flying by, desperately trying to get a hold of SOME public transport to reach his destination on time - and if he's lucky enough - in a somewhat civil condition. 

Each one has his own story to tell. 

Each one has his own battle to fight.

And each one has no choice, no power, no say in what it's going to be. C'est la vie. Such is life.

Thats not to say life is all dirt'n'muck. See, life doesn't have an instruction manual. There's no rule book. It'll hit you where it wants, how it wants, when it wants, and how many ever times it wants. And it may not SEEM fair, But it is. It bloody well is. Most of us just don't have grit to face the truth. And there is only one truth. IF LIFE KNOCKS YOU DOWN, THERE'S ALWAYS, ALWAYS, A WAY TO GET UP. Nobody said it has to be easy, But its there. And aye, it may take another shot at you after that, for all its worth, but there will always be another way up.

Easier said than done, eh? Ask me about it. No, I haven't written six self-help books. Hell, i'm nineteen years old, diagnosed with what many would loosely call "a kidney problem", and a college dropout. So far, so good.

I'll tell you about life. It's not easy sitting at home everyday, knowing fully well that all of your friends WILL be busy morning, afternoon, and evening, because they have college, and classes. 

And they can eat and drink anything they want to, anytime they want, and how much ever they want. 

Knowing that they can party all night, everyday if they want to.

That they don't have to worry about picking up the teeniest bit of a bug from some godforsaken part of the city.

Knowing that i have swollen legs, and I have to put them up on five pillows for atleast three hours everyday, and that if I do go out then a minimum of six people will stare at me as if I'm from another dimension altogether.

To know that my face is also swollen, to add to all the absolute tripe that i'm going through anyway, and SOMEONE is going to laugh because its so darned round.

As if this weren't enough, I also have the added persistent niggle at the back of my mind - "Huh, have i taken my steroids for today?" If i miss it, screwdriver effect.

And if i take it, still screwdriver effect. because steroids have to have side-effects too, haven't they? And you don't, trust me, you don't want to know what they're like.

And then how do we know if i'm recovering or not? Reports! Which means blood and urine samples twice. Prick, prick, prick, hurrah!

WHY ME? BECAUSE MY HORMONES DECIDED TO FOOL AROUND, DARNED WHIMSICAL THINGS. NO FAULT OF MINE, I'M JUST ONE OF THOSE THOUSANDS OF LUCKY DUCKIES (aged 1-25) WHOSE HORMONES RANDOMLY DECIDE TO PLAY WITH OUR LIVES.

But i'll say this, LIFE GAVE ME A HEART, AND MY HEART IS STRONG. YES, I HURT. YES, I COMPLAIN. I HAVE MY DOWN DAYS. BUT MY ONE HEART IS ENOUGH. I WILL FIGHT, AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN. THATS LIFE.